Breaking & Bad Moments

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Breaking & Bad Moments.
Ricky Maye

Brokenness is the table where we all meet.

The occasion for each of us may be different. For many it’s hurt, abuse, or abandonment. But, you know what I mean when I say broken; pain and hurt that isn’t necessarily physical, but can transcend anything physical.

This surpasses any boundaries of explanations. Sometimes it can only be expressed by a scream, a shriek, or a sigh. No matter how much eloquence we use to depict this broken feeling, only you can know the word or sound to describe what broken has meant for you.
Over the years of talking to people, I’ve gotten a good description of what it feels like to be broken. Of course we all have our own experiences of feeling broken, and most describe a feeling of something missing. One woman told me “it was like a piece” of her left. It could have been a divorce, a letdown, or even a bad event.

In ,פָּרַח The Hebrew word for broken, In English it’s pronounced pârach, and .means to bud, to sprout, or blossom
In the plant world, a seed can easily be almost thought of as magic. Its mystical formation from a tiny seed somehow just became a thriving plant to rise above the rough ground it’s saturated in.

In actuality, all plants are born as seeds on the earth. All plants are encaptured with a purpose and the readiness to explode with purpose into the world. However, this seed must wait until its maturity. A seed is never just born into a plant. It’s something that has to reach a certain point.

There comes a moment in the seeds life where it experiences a breaking point. Although this sounds bad it is actually the tipping point of the plants life and purpose. The breaking this seed is going through is a spreading out… a spouting. This is the moment the seed decides to become a plant. Now this word pârach is making more sense. Why would a breaking mean to be sent out or sprout? Because this breaking you’re feeling is normal. You’re not imagining it. Yes this broken feeling has taken a piece of you away. But, it’s bringing you to fruition. Yes it is painful but it will help purpose burst forth. In the breaking moment you’re one step closer to purpose. You are about to flourish.

A wound is a place where the energy of the world enters you.

I would say we all experience these moments of brokenness. Some to different degrees and some that last longer lengths of time.
Those that aren’t broken haven’t really lived.

In our society we love to embellish the negative. Its easy to call attention to the bad around us. Call me unrealistic, but I think those moments of brokenness can be seen in a new way. A better way. As I said, the word pârach is the word broken in Hebrew, and alludes to a sending out; a sprouting, much like a plant.

I’ve always wondered why we deal with these broken feelings and experiences. I’ve always wondered why we actually feel like something’s broken or something is missing.

Being broken is nothing to be ashamed of. It is an exciting celebration of what will come. Something better is coming along. It’s inevitable; a seed must become a plant. You will grow past this and mature into a bigger and better purpose.

Over the next few weeks I will be discussing my thoughts from the hit show, Breaking Bad, as I go through it. I can’t tell you how many people have told me to watch it. I think there is much wisdom in this modern piece of art. I’d like to see if we can uncover something under the surface.

My last word here will be, that in every breaking moment you are laying down deeper roots of purpose that will be shooting out like beautiful flowers blooming.

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Baggage

About a year ago I had a seemingly strong man sit down with me and we had a short talk only to quickly find out he was dealing with much more than how much he was going to bench today. He openly admitted this past abuse he was still dealing with would give him a short fuse with people and lead to unprovoked anger with others. I listened and told him abruptly told him to Stop! he continued, by saying he was told by Pastors, friends and family to forgive. I told him to stop, I knew this was going to happen.

I said, forgiveness in the way those people want you to forgive is like a bandaid or a mask, it will eventually come off and people will see the real stuff your dealing with and act like your the one with the problem.

I told him, to start thinking of his unforgiveness as a real thing, because in all sense of the word, it’s very real to us who deal with it everyday. See this hurt, anger and pain as a physical weight, or a bag if you will.

I ended that day by expressing that he wasn’t meant to carry that much weight, so here I am, this tiny, small young kid telling this Huge, Muscular man He can’t carry this. I think in any other situation it would have been very bad but here, it was right. The pain and hurt that no one can see weighs more than anything in a gym.

A few years back I was on a flight to Michigan and I saw a weird act of kindness. While checking in at the self check in (because it’s quicker!)

I laid eyes on a family who was over their carry on baggage limit by one, and they were arguing about which would have to be checked.

A stranger behind them said, “I’m on the same flight I’ll take it. My ticket allows one more. Bag”

So he took it, later when boarding the plane, his laptop and bag took up his lap space while all the overhead compartments were full. He was in a predicament.

Now he was posed with the same question, “what are you going to check?”

The families baggage quickly became this mans baggage.

This was such a spiritual inspiration to me as I was being taught by God about forgiveness and dealing with baggage.

Biblical forgiveness

When we hold something, it’s a type of baggage in our lives. We have good and bad baggage, even good baggage can get heavy, meaning even when your doing good things, life can still become unbearable; people begin asking for more, people begin expecting more.

When we hold hurt, unforgiveness and grudges, we taking the hurt and pain of someone else and carrying it ourselves. If we let this happen a few times we begin to carry these huge bags with us everywhere.

Some of you are sill dealing with past hurts and you can feel it physically drain you, this pain and hurt can even kill you spiritually.

For you, this baggage is more than real.

It can be a rape, it may be a divorce, or a break up, the list can go on, but this you don’t need any examples on, you know what your hurt is, you know what baggage your holding.

The Hebrew word for one dealing with common forgiveness is “nasa” and it means to lift; to hold up and put down.

When we hold unforgiveness we can cause ourselves to hold not only our own baggage but the baggage of others we will not forgive. My unforgiveness is making me carry her issues with her mother. My unforgiveness towards her is making me deal with her childhood abuse.

I don’t know about you but I have enough baggage to deal with than having to deal with her issues too, I don’t have enough room to fit his problems too.

My baggage is beginning to be become filled with her baggage when I just can’t let go.

Getting rid of it

When I forgive I am able to let this baggage down. Its not about moving on, you can’t lose it, anyone that tells a women to forget her attacker hasn’t been attacked, anyone who tells a child to forget his abuse hasn’t been abused. Forgiveness is about letting go, lightening the load, and checking a few bags.

This forgiveness journey isn’t about trying to be perfect in peoples eyes and saying I forgive and forget, because no matter how much you say it, it probably wont happen that quick, this journey is about getting rid of extra baggage.

Jesus echoed this by saying, “cast your care upon me.” Or “Let me take those bags”, my version.

To forgive isn’t about forgetting, it’s about letting things down, and if you let these bags down too fast it might end up hurting. Let these bags down, one by one.

You were not meant to carry that divorce.

You are more than that abuse.

These bags are too heavy, they are making their way into your work, into your family life. The weight of these bags are going to kill you.

 

Adapted from my new book coming at the end of the Summer entitled, An Emerging Spirituality which will be available on Amazon (kindle) (store) B&N (nook) Apple (Audiobook) (iBooks) and much more please stay in touch for more info or keep checking http://www.Rickymaye.com